Sunday, January 22, 2006

Basketball.. F1 racing,... Soccer... Why do people even watch them...

I have seen lots of guys following English soccer like crazy(or atleast they show). Same goes with F1 racing too. When a famiy visit their friends and if one of the visitors turns out to hold a high-post managerial job, then he would ask the young lad to tune into ESPN so that he can see what happened to the Newcastle, Tottenham match(Who is the captain.. ummm.. oops.. I forgot).

In India, these sports are not at all a hit. These same guys might have never played soccer in their life, and even if they played, do they play for fun or they play just to justify their interest in english soccer. So that they can get an ethical certificate to watch such sports for life. Usual comments follow 'When I used to play soccer.. ' (I wonder why they don't now)...

I mean, until and unless you have played such sport in the past, until and unless you have felt the excitement of the game more than once, or there is a direct/indirect connection with the sport(I mean, is your country or someone is representing your country in that sport),
you should not follow such sport else its a complete SHAM.

As if, if you do not watch such sports, you are not cool... You are not part of an intellectual cult.... You are just the same stereotype person who knows nothing other than his job/family... You would not be able to babble in group gatherings and argue that why such and such team and such and such player is excellent.

A common chat in the canteen and local pubs goes like this..
'Abe kal Arsenal ka match dekha kya.. kya match tha.. score was 0-0. Main raat ko 2 baje tak jaga hua tha ye match dekhne ke liye...'
What!!! This asshole was awake till 2 in the morning just to watch a soccer match in which he has no direct or indirect connection to the teams involved.
He shows more patriotism to such teams than his country.
What does he benefit or loses if his team wins or not. Does he play soccer in the city or is he part of any soccer team. Does he inspire inspiration from the quality of the game and applies the same when he goes out on the field(if he really goes, that is)

Such suckers do not even know the names of all the players in the side, who is their manager, what their strategy is, but they would sit in front of the television and talk...
'Abe aaj Liverpool vs Manchester United ka match hai.. office se jaldi aa jana, daru peete peete match dekhenge'. 'I am supporting Liverpool and this time Michael Owen is going to score a hatrick against MU'. (What a fan-following).

Whats worse is that the same people will show more frustation than the player who missed his chance of scoring a goal. 'Abe itna simple goal tha, kaise miss kar diya. Sala poora mood off gaya. Ek beer maarna padega'. (Ok I give it to this person as he finds a genuine excuse to drink beer)

I used to watch a lot of cricket when I was crazy about cricket. I didn't watch it to see who is winning or who is losing.. but to see the batsmen how they hit those glorious shots, how bowlers deliver the ball, watch the field placing and the passion of the game. That is why I used to watch any match, literally any match, whether its highlight, whether its a ranji match, whether its an old match, whether its live.. I used to watch them all. After taking all the lessons from the television, it was time to practice them out in the field. And so we did and became a better cricketer(read sprotsman).

I liked the matches in Australia as the telecast and coverage was too good( Channel 9 . The cameras were so well placed that it followed the ball such that you are really watching the game from a stadium.

But now, I have lost all interest in cricket and its been months I played cricket. More because its more time-consuming and now I realize its a stupid game and there are better sports to try out than this, which I am going to discuss in detail in a different blog.

So I do not watch cricket at all, I do not know who is winning and who is losing, who is the new star and who is in the controversy until some colleague educates me about it.

Then, when there was a cricket match on tv, I always used to take a side which came naturally. Ofcouse it was always India when India was playing and when it did not involve India, it was the weaker of the team which was playing. Maybe its because I developed a habit of perseverense by being a part of the team which was losing. Its easy being part of the strong team but little tough being part of the losing team as you wish and hope more than what you actually enjoy.

Its not that I have followed cricket all my life. I have followed tennis to a great degree when I was in 6-7th standard. I learnt almost all my game by watching tennis rather than someone giving me tips on how to play it. This I feel very proud of( until one coach gave me some tips). But nevertheless, I am still self learner in this regard. ( Off-topic: Steven Edberg and Monica Seles were my favorite)

You would then ask how you learnt cricket which I would then say that learning cricket is not that tough (I am not talking about professional cricket).. Its quite simple and almost every kid in the town excels in it unitl and unless he has got a fat butt, he cares only about pussies(I am not talking about cats.. ohhhh. you knew what I meant.. sorry), or his momma/dadda is a bitch.

Then I followed basketball a lil bit and it was really lil bit. I learned more in the college by playing than by watching. And I have never watched a complete match of basketball which involved players like Michael Jordan and Pippene, etc(I don't remeber the names now). Why? It was because it was too difficult to digest or practice those shots. They were just too perfect and too perfect(yes I said it twice). Then this game takes a lot out of you physically and being physically not that strong, I couldn't keep up with it.

I never followed table tennis although I played quite a bit in school, college and now in my recent company. But I never liked table tennis that much. Maybe its because I never achieved the success which I deserved or should have deserved. I do not know the name of a single world champion. (No wonder, those chinese names are so hard to remember).

If you are following a sport, you not only just watch it and say 'Wow.. what a shot...', etc. but look at the equipment they are using in different situations, why they use them.. like Saurav Ganguly uses a heavy bat as he plays most of the shots on the rise, while Azhar uses a light bat as he is wristy player and needs a light bat.

So I say to all those suckers that stop ur bitching and instead of watching/following a sport, pick a sport and practice it. I know its boring for beginners but thats the way it is. If you can't, then better suck cocks than fart about that you know a lot about soccer. Meet you in the field.

Before I end, I would like to say what the heck is about F1 racing. It really beats me. How can anyone watch the entire race. First of all, it makes such irritating noise when it goes around the track, then the fun is all of the driver's and not the spectators. Then how is that driver or the driver's country related to you. Other than Narayana Karthikeyan who always come second from last. I would enjoy the race if I could put my money on it just like a race course. Thankfully, I have never seen it for more than a split second when I had the luxury of keeping the remote.
I think the only fun part is the cars cartwheeling, bursting in flames, some guy with broken bones, maybe one or two dead.

Don't ever ask me 'Abe tu English premier league ya F1 racing follow karta hai kya else I will make you read this horrible article'

Many blog posts are on the way

I have loads of blogs ready to be posted but the problem is that they are not complete yet.
I just out of the blue start a blog and then stop it when as usual encounter BLOGGER's BLOCK.

Some of the articles are like 'Who reads my blogs?', 'Why do people blog?', 'Indian vs Western slangs', 'Why I never hear honk while driving?', 'Who's the next conspiracy theorists', and lots and lots more.

One day I am going to give up everything, like food, drinks..(which I always do) and then complete all my blogs and ask Harsh to read it. And read them myself when I lose my job. And almost die with hysterical laughter.

So keep checking your Atom feeds.